Obituaries

Elizabeth M. "Betsy" McCullough

May 7th, 2021

Elizabeth M.
share

Betsy McCullough never liked to admit the party was over but being endowed with a deep and abiding faith she happily turned the lights out and returned to the bosom of her creator on Friday, May 7 at the age of 80. She was the consummate hostess who conducted the symphony of a kitchen dinner party as a maestro while simultaneously laughing, eating and talking which is not an easy thing to do. She mixed metaphors with the best of them and could "talk your shoulders off" while telling you not to "...burn your bridge at both ends". Betsy loved to laugh at a joke but she loved even more to talk about her faith, friends and family. And so, it was at the end, when after a protracted illness of many years, she ate her final meal with her only son, received a visit from a relative, was anointed, receiving her last rites and prayers from a priest, and held the hand of a visiting friend, as she passed at Cape Cod Hospital.

Betsy came from Providence, Rhode Island where she was born Elizabeth Marie Lombardi and from the age of 7 years old spent her summers in Dennis Port. She was a lifelong voracious reader and spent many hours every summer for the next 73 years sitting in a beach chair with her toes in the sand and a book in her hand. She nurtured her love of reading first at St. Francis Xavier Academy in Providence and then at The College of New Rochelle in New York, earning her Bachelor’s Degree in English in 1962 before becoming a teacher at Ezra Baker School in West Dennis.

She loved to travel the world but always returned to Cape Cod where she was married at Holy Trinity Church in West Harwich whereafter she left teaching to be a full time Mom and moved to Stony Brook Road in Brewster. There she was soon hired as the Director of Religious Education at Our Lady of the Cape Church and remained for 35 years. One of her proudest accomplishments was earning a Master’s Degree in Religious Education from Providence College in 1984, earned while juggling a full-time job, raising a son and driving off-Cape to take classes. Only Betsy could irreverently refer to this as her “Master’s of God” and still make the most devout Catholic laugh.

When Betsy was not driving her son "...all over tarnation" she could be found on the other end of Stony Brook Road tending her 1000 square foot organic garden, canning vegetables, processing sea clams or cooking in the kitchen of her Victorian Sea Captain’s house. It was easy to find her standing at the stove making a huge “batch” of truly homemade recipes. Her spaghetti and meatballs and clam chowder were legendary among her family and friends as were her endless “Happy Hours”. Betsy’s happy hours were not constrained by time nor convention and many friends stopped by to borrow a cup of sugar or drop off a book and six hours later were walking back out to their car having been dined and entertained. Oh, these were not just dinner parties they were dinner jamborees. She was a force of nature in the kitchen, a provincial Julia Childs and the legions who were fortunate enough to be invited to dinner at her house will long remember the fun and fare. Generous to a fault, she would invite one and all to dine with her. Her trips to Stop & Shop in Orleans were prolonged affairs and she often returned with as many dinner guests as groceries. In her words, she only ever ran late because she "put too many oars in the fire." Wearing an apron that stated “How Did Everyone End Up in My Kitchen?”, she spent thousands of hours simultaneously cooking, entertaining and listening to opera or Sinatra, hosting many a Cape Codder and Wash-a-Shore, alike. Around that kitchen table you would find librarians, priests, hippies, teachers, students, hotel managers, conservationists, and businessmen, all held together with the glue of Betsy's magnetic hostess powers. She could make each and every one feel like they were the most important guest at her table. Her ministration of amazing food, accompanied by her loud laughter and million- watt smile did not hurt either. Her friends all knew that Betsy wore her heart on her sleeve and the power of her food and love was truly gravitational. It is no surprise then that when she retired from Our Lady of The Cape, she applied these skills to turn her 1865 Sea Captain’s Home into a popular B&B, “The Captain Wixon House” where she had many returning guests from across America and all over the world drawn back by her hospitality and her knowledge of her beloved Cape Cod.

To Betsy love was not a noun but a verb, an action word, and the love she bestowed upon these kitchen dinner guests was returned by the number of visitors she entertained after she moved into Pleasant Bay Nursing & Rehabilitation Center in Brewster. She was always glad to receive friends, former students and relatives who would be joined by staff in her room announcing that they had Betsy in school or knew her from church. Brief visits were not an option at her new home either where the food service staff learned to bring Betsy her food last or risk making the entire dinner service for 170 residents late as she kept them occupied with a story that was "the whole kettle of fish in a nutshell". Pleasant Bay simply became the new location for her endless happy hours. This same fate befell staff, eucharistic ministers and friends. Good thing she didn’t have a room with its own kitchen or they’d all still be in there.

Betsy is predeceased by her parents, Anthony L. and Hope (Scott) Lombardi, and her brother Robert A. Lombardi. She is survived by her son, Daniel J. McCullough III, M.D. and his wife, Kimberly A. Trudel and their sons, Alexander D. and Andrew C. McCullough, all of Marblehead, MA, Betsy’s former husband, Daniel J. McCullough, Jr. and more family and friends than you could fit in the world’s largest kitchen.

Friends and relatives are invited to call at the Hallett Funeral Home, 273 Station Ave., South Yarmouth, MA on Sunday, May 16 from 3-5 P.M. A funeral Mass will be celebrated at 11:00 A.M. on Monday, May 17 at Our Lady of the Cape Church, Stony Brook Rd., Brewster, MA. Interment will be at St. Ann Cemetery, Cranston, RI in the family plot.

Contributions in her memory may be made to the Brewster Conservation Trust, 36 Red Top Rd., Brewster, MA 02631 or the Cunningham Scholarship Fund at Providence College, 1 Cunningham Sq., Providence, RI 02918.

Guest Book

Julie Wheeler
#8
Monday - May 17, 2021 12:00 am

My condolences to Betsy's family. I've always kept an eye out for her at the grocery store, the dump anywhere around town. There's was nothing better than a good chat with Betsy, she will be missed.

J. Clement Cicilline
#7
Saturday - May 15, 2021 12:00 am

My very deepest sympathies on the passing of Betsy who was one of the nicest, most caring, thoughtful, charming, wittiest, reflective, fun-to-be-with persons I have ever known. She exuded a warm welcome to everyone she met, and it was a delight to be considered her friend. While I hadn't seen her much in the last several years, I always remember her as being a very special individual. I was a groomsman at her wedding on Sept 24, 1966, but I knew her before that in Providence. I retain this very special memory - one of my old time favorite memories- when she & Dan hosted the Barry & Ruby Bellino family, John & Julia Rollins family, and my family at their house in Brewster. Betsy was on double-duty that weekend, making sure we were all well-attended and cared for in every way while being very much a part of every laugh, drink, bite-to-eat, and good time we had. It was an amazing experience that still generates glowing feelings of appreciation and an inescapable, internal smile. She was truly an extraordinary woman. She made an indelible mark on everyone who knew her. I am praying for her and her entire family.. With abiding admiration and affection, J.Clement 'Buddy' Cicilline Newport, RI

Craig Russell & Family
#6
Saturday - May 15, 2021 12:00 am

Betsy was my friend, my Duchess, my American Mom. I learned so much from her and laughed so much with her. I am lost for words to do her justice. I pray that I can honour her in the things I do in this life. I know it would be a better place if we could all be a little bit Betsy. God bless you and may you rest in eternal peace. Craig

Jennifer McCarty
#5
Saturday - May 15, 2021 12:00 am

Betsy was a truly remarkable woman. My sincere sympathy to her family.

Adrienne Hill
#4
Friday - May 14, 2021 12:00 am

I worked with Betsy for many years doing calligraphy for her confirmation classes. All three of my kids attended her Religious Ed classes and she was not only a whiz at organizing those classes, she was a true pleasure to work with. My sincere sympathy to her family.

Adrienne K Hill
#3
Friday - May 14, 2021 12:00 am

I worked with Betsy doing calligraphy for her confirmation certificates for many years. My three kids went through her religious Ed program and she was an absolute joy to work with! Her personality and warmth were truly unsurpassed. My sincere sympathy to her family for the loss of such a wonderful person. Adrienne Hill

Donna & Dave Burrows
#2
Thursday - May 13, 2021 12:00 am

Dave and I felt so blessed to have this wonderful woman as part of our extended family. When I (Donna) first met Betsy, I felt that I was reconnecting with an old, dear friend. She had a way of bringing you out of your "shell" instantly. I'll never forget this one visit when she and "multiple" friends piled out of this tiny car, smiling and laughing greetings after their 3 hour ride together. Never ceased to amaze. I remember thinking "I wish I lived on the Cape again, especially Brewster. You'll be missed and I know we'll "reconnect" again.

Donna & Dave Burrows
#1
Thursday - May 13, 2021 12:00 am

Dave and I felt so blessed to have this wonderful woman as part of our extended family. When I (Donna) first met Betsy, I felt that I was reconnecting with an old, dear friend. She had a way of bringing you out of your "shell" instantly. I'll never forget this one visit when she and "multiple" friends piled out of this tiny car, smiling and laughing greetings after their 3 hour ride together. Never ceased to amaze. I remember thinking "I wish I lived on the Cape again, especially Brewster. You'll be missed and I know we'll "reconnect" again.

Leave a message
* Name
* Email (will not be published)
*
* - Required fields